


Now That's Kinky

by BookofOdym



Category: Atom (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Hawkman (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Justice League of America (Comics), Justice Society of America (Comics)
Genre: Community: dckinkmeme, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mentions of Macro/Micro, The whole fic is a Living Dildo joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofOdym/pseuds/BookofOdym
Summary: For the prompt: Ray and Carter have just started their relationship. They’re keeping it rather tame because Carter is old fashioned like that and doesn’t do anything kinky until like the 6th date at least. Someone walks in on the two of them and an embarrassed Ray immediately shrinks down and hides but gets spotted anyways, causing the person the person to think Ray and Carter are doing kinky size-changing stuff. And of the League are worse gossips than middle school girls so pretty soon everyone’s heard what Hawkman and the Atom get up to in the bedroom.
Relationships: Carter Hall/Ray Palmer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Now That's Kinky

It was hard to find anywhere in the Watchtower where you were truly alone, there was always someone rushing through, trying to get somewhere else, and oftentimes even your own quarters weren’t safe. Ray had luckily found a small alcove in his lab, where he could sit and watch the stars when there wasn’t any work for him to do. 

It was the perfect place to spend time with Carter, away from the noise of the rest of the satellite, so unless Ray accidentally on purpose made a joke himself, there was nothing for the other man to complain about. 

His fingers found the latches of Carter’s helmet, and he pulled it off his head at the same time that Carter dragged him forward for a kiss. He liked kissing Carter but kissing him in the helmet always resulted in him being up close and personal with that mask, and the archaeologist always took offense if he started laughing at it. 

“Hm, you’re wearing too many clothes,” it slipped out. It was just how Ray was, sometimes he would make jokes to ease the tension, but Carter had War Flashbacks to the JLI days every time it happened, so hopefully, he wouldn’t notice. 

Carter froze. If you listened really hard, you could hear the words ‘Bwahaha’ running through his mind. Shit. 

Ray opened his mouth, about to make an excuse when Carter kissed him again. “That’s more something I should be saying to you, except...” 

“Except?” 

“Except we’re at work, so nothing sexual until we get home.” 

He leaned in again, only for the sound of a ‘whoosh’ to fill the room. “It’s been hours,” Green Arrow complained, “is my test done yet?” 

Ray made an ‘eeping’ noise and shrank down out of sight, but by then, it was far too late. All Hell was breaking loose, Oliver made a comment that Ray didn’t quite understand, and then Carter was picking up his mace, chasing the archer through the halls. 

* * *

“Ray!” Hal called out to him; he was sat at a table in the mess with Aquaman, who hardly seemed thrilled to be in that predicament, and with Oliver, because of course. Ordinarily, Ray would have avoided that table on instinct since the energy that emanated from it was one of imminent violence, but if Hal was calling him over, he was just going to have to put up with it. Maybe he should hope that Arthur didn’t hate him quite as much as he hated Hal, so he would be spared when the Atlantean finally snapped. “I heard you landed the grumpiest DILF in the JSA... no wait, that’s Alan. The hottest asshole in the JSA... no, still Alan.” 

“He’s going to be a while,” Arthur growled, fingers tightening around his trident. 

“I gathered.” 

“Hottest asshole in the JLA might be an option,” Hal continued, “but then he’d have to fight it out with you, Arthur.” 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Aquaman informed Ray, who only halfheartedly tried to stop him. Hal, for his part, managed to be completely oblivious. 

“You’re gonna kill him? You don’t need to kill him to secure your victory. We can run a poll and-” A moment later, the screaming started. 

“Didn’t realize Carter was a bottom though,” Oliver chimed in, “or was that exploratory surgery to remove the stick from his ass?" 

Ray really regretted not eating lunch in his lab. 

* * *

Ted Kord only called in the middle of the day for one reason, and that reason was gossip... well, if they were dieting at the same time, he would also call to gloat about how much weight he had lost, but this was definitely gossip. “Did you hear about Ray and Carter?” His excited voice came as soon as she picked up. 

Kara glanced at Mister Terrific and Doctor Mid-Nite, who weren’t listening at the moment, but could at any moment. She turned away from them slightly, before talking in a hushed voice. “Did they have a fight? Ray is such a sweetheart you wouldn’t expect it, but then Carter does have such a stick in his ass.” 

“No! No!” Ted said, and the sound of Booster’s laughter drifted down the phone. “It’s the opposite of a fight. In fact, it was pretty kinky.” 

Pieter nudged her side, leaning in to listen in on the phone conversation. “What’s happening with Ray and Carter?” 

Kara elbowed him in the stomach, causing him to double over in pain. “Kinky, you say?” 

“According to Ollie, he walked in on them during an intimate moment, and Ray was _small_. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the story of the woman who was so big her lover fell in, but-”

* * *

Jay was there, right outside the door, staring at him. Carter supposed that he was being polite, peering around the doorway, so it wasn’t obvious that he was watching. Alan wasn’t. Alan was just standing in the hallway, staring at him. He was also eating as he did so. ...Sometimes Alan was a little concerning. 

“What is it?” 

Alan took another bite while Jay squirmed, and Carter was becoming more and more convinced that he was just here to watch the awkward conversation. 

“I was talking to Henry,” Jay started, while Alan hissed at the name, “who mentioned that he’d been talking to Blue Beetle and Booster Gold...” 

“Ah,” Carter glanced down at his paperwork, feeling a headache coming on. “We’ll have to put a stop to that. They’re bad influences. They’ll teach him all the wrong things.” 

“Like jokes?” Alan asked, and was that a small smile at the way Carter stiffened at that? He was a sadist. 

“Well,” Jay said diplomatically, probably sensing an upcoming argument, “it’s worse than that. Apparently, the conversation was about... certain fetishes.” 

“Tell him he can borrow my mace and to use it on them the next time they ask.” 

The speedster pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please, let me at least start this story, you can always interrupt later.” 

“Emphasis on the always.” 

“Alan!” 

Jay waited for a moment, just to make sure that neither of them was going to speak again before he continued. “It was about you, too.” 

Carter choked on his own tongue. “He’s 28. I’m just a little bit too old for-” 

“You’re not too old for Ray Palmer, though,” Alan spoke, somehow both interrupting and cutting right to the crux of the matter at the same time. 

“Ray is in his 40s-” 

Jay cut him off again. “But that’s not the point. The point is... if the two of you are going to be engaging in size play, Raymond really needs to get a breathing apparatus first. He could suffocate while inside you otherwise.” 

What. 


End file.
